Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Night

In the distance I can hear the thunder that awoke her, sending her scurrying through a dark house to find her comforter. 
A lot more weighs on me than just this warm bundle in my arms. 
She sighs causing me to look down. Her little rosebud mouth turns slightly up at the corners causing me to wonder whether she really sleeps or merely feints it, to keep me nearby. I don't move. This one is rarely still. 
My mind drifts. What is He doing?  What is planned?  "He is already in your future and He already has a solution" rises up. 
She stirs, eyes slowly blink, smacks her lips. "Are you ready to go back to bed?" No, her head shaking says. 
The room lightens, white light briefly illuminates little girl necessities. A dress up crown. Slippers. 
How much longer, Lord?  Won't you sit beside me and tell me the plans You have for me?  I'm trying to do this well for You. Your hand has been so present, so merciful through so many. But decisions are pressing. 
Soft rhythmic breathing. Soft beautiful face at rest. I lift this little one and place her carefully, securely, quietly back in bed. 
Thoughts send me scurrying to find Him in my dark. My comforter. 
He will carry me. 
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousAugust 3, 2011 at 9:40 AM

    Hang in there girl... God has you in his arms too. I have you in my prayers.

    Love
    Joanne

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  2. UnknownAugust 3, 2011 at 9:08 PM

    Beautifully articulated...sometimes what we believe and what we actually feel are worlds apart. I admire your posture of trust and faith...keep it up! I can also understand your questioning, the required patience and strength, the fear and doubt that our "what ifs" try to smother us with in their efforts to drown out His truth (they always come in the black of the night for me...when I'm most tired, weak and vulnerable). I understand the wondering...what are His plans for me and my family? I wish we had His view. I wish we could see the bigger picture in moments of uncertainty. I understand.

    Praying for you. For His voice to be loud and clear and His guidance and lead to be transparent and evident (with whatever decisions you are facing). I pray for His peace and His comfort to guard your mind and your heart in this season. I ask for protection and provision for your family and for His favor to be poured out upon you. That He will, as His word promises, make all things work together for your good. I'm trusting that He will...for you (and for me too!)

    You are right friend, He will carry you. Keep your eyes on Him.
    Much love to you.

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